Rainfall Songs 《雨落篇》

In the rainy solitude of Wan Zhou, where the window weeps without cease, these songs were gathered and named Rainfall.

发现一些过去写的诗歌。集于此，名之《雨落篇》，盖当时身处万州，窗外落雨。

Rainfall I

雨落之一

When I am gone, where shall my love for thee find its dwelling?

当我死后，我对你的爱将放在哪里?

Shall I carve it upon the hardest stone, that it may endure until this planet itself is rent asunder? 可否将之刻在最坚硬的石板，直到这颗星球，分崩离析。

Shall I write it in light, that it may drift through the myriad universes,

可否将之写在光里，让其在诸宇宙漂流，

until some black abyss gathers it into its arms and holds it while it slowly fades into nothing?

直到某个黑洞抢获，抱在怀里，伴其慢慢蒸发。

If but a single thread of that love should reach the rim of some distant cosmos,

若有一丝爱意抵达了某个宇宙的边沿，

in the place where worlds meet and times fold upon one another—might eternity be glimpsed there?

在宇宙交汇， 时光重叠之地可否窥见永恒？

Beloved, I do not know.

我所爱的人啊，我不知道。

Yet I shall go on loving thee.

但我会一直爱着你。

(Note: Thus thought the young heart; later it could not keep the vow.)

（注：年轻时是这么想的，后来没能做到）

Rainfall II: That Moon of Old

雨落之二：《当时月》

This year, this month, this very night—

今年今月今日夜，

the moonlight pours like water, and thou art as the moon itself.

月光如水人如月。

Year upon year the moon returns unchanged;

岁岁年年月依旧，

yet this feeling, this scene—from whom may I borrow them again?

此情此景问谁借？

Rainfall III

雨落之三

In the third moon of spring, under the south wind’s sky,

春三月，南风天

thy fingers are like young green onions, thy brows like distant smoke.

指似葱，眉如烟。

Thy dark hair dances, thy skirts flutter and fly.

青丝舞，裙翩翩。

Rainfall IV: Matters of Other Lives

雨落之四：《往生事》

The affairs of other lives have passed; the splendour of former days has been blown away.

他生事过、往昔繁华、竟吹落。

When I return to the old purple paths where once the jade-like one stood, only mist remains, vast and dim.

待重游，当年紫陌玉人立处、烟漠漠。

Who, through the long years of longing, still remembers?

多年相思谁相忆？

Thou shouldst forget—do not keep the memory!

君当忘去不当记！

Rainfall V: Scattered Thoughts

雨落之五：《杂感》

The rain of that time still lingers in the air; this spring is silent and still.

氤氲当时雨，今春寂寂时。

Wind and snow have not changed the heart; the flowing years remain the same.

风雪心依旧，流年浑不改。

Dark hair and jade brow become smoke; years pass in the snap of a finger.

丝璧生烟，多年弹指间。

Far, far is the appointed hour; radiant the feathered robe.

渺渺兮佳期，流煌兮羽衣。

Dim is the form of the old friend; rare is the one who understands the song of the soul.

迷离兮故人，所稀兮知音。

Rainfall VI

雨落之六

Like water the years flow, and a whole life is broken by a single instant;

似水流年弹破一生只要片刻，

the idle east wind cannot read the loneliness of beauty.

等闲东风看不懂美人的寂寞。

The sky is filled with falling stars that carry whose returning spirit?

那漫天流星夹杂着谁归来的魂魄，

The world turns and turns—who is right, who is wrong?

世事婆娑，谁对谁错？

Once at the foot of the sacred mountain we saw the Buddha pass by;

你我曾在灵山脚下见佛经过，

liberation was within reach, yet thou couldst not let me go.

明明可以解脱，你，却舍不得我。

Life after life we meet; world after world we miss each other.

生生相遇，世世错过。

To whom shall this deep love of countless births be told? Who will listen? Who will understand?

这累世情深向谁去说？谁愿意听？谁又懂得？

Now only I remain, with fallen petals and a pot of wine,

事到如今只余我伴落花壶酒，

drinking alone, powerless, wordless.

自饮自酌，无计可施，无话可说。

Rainfall VII

雨落之七

There are words better left unspoken; questions better left unasked.

很多时候，有些话，与其说，不如不说。有些问题，与其问不如不问。

Keep the distance that brings ease to both. Those who grow too familiar often grow careless of one another.

将距离维持在一个彼此都感到舒服的距离，太过熟悉的人往往会轻视对方。

In this world nothing is truly indispensable.

这世上，原本没有什么是非谁不可的。

Spring flowers and autumn moons, the flowing years—

春花秋月，似水流年，

they are but the wandering of countless souls among the throng.

不过是在芸芸众生之中，颠沛流离罢了。

Each has his own waves and stillness, each his own joy and sorrow.

各有各的波澜起伏，各有各的喜怒哀乐。

Rainfall VIII

雨落之八

I am a ray of light from the edge of the tenth universe,

我是来自第十宇宙边缘的光，

having crossed a hundred hundred million years of change.

穿越百亿年的沧桑。

I have walked past the vanishing of black abysses and the death of stars,

我一路走来，黑洞蒸发，恒星死亡，

yet still I cannot forget the shape of thy face.

我却还忘不了你的模样。

Rainfall IX

雨落之九

Poems before the bright moon and flowers;

明月花前诗，

words upon the stone of three lives.

三生石上字。

In vain I remember the shadow of a former birth;

空记前生影，

the thread of destiny is not yet cut.

姻缘未断时。

In dream thy dark hair falls like a cascade;

梦中青丝如瀑，

upon waking it is snow upon a feathered robe.

醒来如雪羽衣，

When shall I see thee again?

见何期？

Rainfall X: Three Songs of the Heart’s Altar

雨落之十：《心台三首》

Who planned that meeting of the night before?

谁拟前夕会?

It has cost me a lifetime of tears.

倾我一生泪。

Love is exhausted in the extreme; the character for “heart” has turned to ash.

情在绝中尽，心字已成灰。

The heart that has passed leaves no trace—what then can be gained?

心过本无痕，又有何可得。

Fragrance is consumed in the burning; tears are ended in the flowing.

香在焚中尽，泪在流中绝。

One dream holds the affairs of three lives;

一梦三生事，

words endure for five hundred years.

文章五百年。

Body and name are dust and earth—

身名尘与土，

do not betray the bond of this life.

莫负此生缘。

Rainfall XI: Between the Brows

雨落之十一：《眉间》

Stars sparse, wind gentle, the night slightly cool;

星稀风小夜微凉，

all day the thought of thee makes time itself seem short.

镇日思量不觉长。

Red beans are boiled into a matter of the heart;

红豆熬成心头事，

the green window locks the wound between the brows.

碧窗锁就眉间伤。

Rainfall XII: Eyes

雨落之十二：《眼睛》

Thy eyes

你的眼睛

are the vastest sea among all the universes.

是诸宇宙最浩瀚的海

One glance alone

只一眼，

has drowned my entire life.

就湮没了我的一生

If we were not too obsessed with love,

情不重，

we would not be reincarnated on this planet.

不生娑婆。

Rainfall XIII: Song of the Cherry Blossoms

雨落之十三：《樱花篇》

(Spring of 2006)

（06年春）

Cherry blossoms open with the spring;overnight they fly like white snow.

樱花随春开， 一夜雪飞白。

Petal by petal they fall before the wind, sending a faint fragrance.

片片风前落，送得淡香来。

The southern sky is wide for a thousand miles; the fierce sun beats upon the high terrace.

万里楚天阔，烈日曝高台。

Still they say the clear day is good—yet wind and cloud gather into mist.

尤道晴正好，风云涌成霭。

Three days the rain has not ceased; it falls without end.

三天雨未歇，绵绵不肯绝。

In the thin veil of smoke, bees and butterflies may still be seen.

淡淡烟幕中，依稀见蜂蝶。

I take my umbrella and leave home; the parting becomes one of several days.

擎伞离家去，遂成数日别。

When I return, the flowers have already withered in silence.

待到归来时，黯然花已谢。

Fallen, yet their scent remains, no less than in their full bloom.

花陨香未残，不逊在时蕃。

Wilted petals wrap the broken stamens; they smile that the rain, though cold, is kind.

萎瓣裹碎蕊，自笑雨虽寒。

For whom do they refuse to leave? The fair one leans alone upon the railing.

为谁不肯去?佳人独凭栏。

Life too is like this flower—its brilliance drifts away to the end.

生亦如此花，飘尽了灿烂。

The earth still carries the fragrance of petals; then a hundred flowers begin to soar.

泥土带瓣香，百花始飞扬。

Unwilling to end thus, the pure soul dreams long into the night.

不甘如此尽，清霄魂梦长。

I wander in the spring wind, vainly resenting the vagueness of the message.

徘徊春风里，徒怨信茫茫。

Now and then I ask the bees and butterflies for news, exhausting all my thought.

偶问蜂蝶讯，费尽了思量。

The more I think, the more the heart grows timid; the unease will not be extinguished.

越思情越怯，忐忑不能灭。

One morning they fall with the wind, and for several nights I am left worn and pale.

一朝随风落，憔悴了数夜。

Upon the branch the green fruit forms; the soul of the flower is not lacking.

枝头成青果，花魂两不缺。

Wait until after the fourth moon—then it will be red as the blood of beauty.

待到四月后，红似美人血。

(Note: The purest poems of this life were written at fifteen or sixteen. Looking back, how pure those days were.)

注：这辈子自己最喜欢的诗歌都是十五六岁时写成，后来想想，那时多纯粹。

Rainfall XIV: Song of the East Wind

雨落之十四：《东风篇》

A foot away, yet a dream’s distance of heaven and earth;

咫尺天涯一梦遥，

do not give the east wind in marriage to the peach blossom.

莫将东风嫁与桃。

At the fifth watch of night sorrow is still unsettled;

夜值五更愁未定，

I know not toward what shore this body drifts.

不知身向何处漂？

Thou thyself didst depart with the early spring;

君自飘零先春去，

heart and petals withered together.

心和花瓣一共凋。

Moonlight dyed the dark hair white in a single night,

月染青丝一夜白，

only because man and longing grow old together.

只因人共相思老。

Rage rolls the wild sand a thousand and ten thousand feet high;

怒卷狂沙千万丈，

the colour of heaven changes, and hatred is not yet allayed.

色变苍穹恨未消。

Hatred unallayed, the soul itself breaks;

恨不消兮魂自断，

the soul broken, the spirit follows and scatters.

魂断魄亦随之散。

Yet what is scattered will gather again in time;

散终有时还自聚，

and when it gathers, the thick grass of hatred remains.

聚时萋萋恨依然。

Who can unravel the endless matters of the heart?

谁解心中无限事，

The wind has blown away all the fragrance; a hundred flowers are ruined.

吹尽芳菲百花残。

In the evening I face the soul of the flowers and weep alone;

晚对花魂独自泣，

fine rain gathers into pearls that splash upon the green railing.

小雨凝珠溅碧栏。

Last night I chased the clouds to look upon the bright moon;

昨夜逐云视明月,

the jade cassia stands solitary in the cold of the moon.

玉桂独在月中寒。

Looking back, one parting is the hatred of three lives;

回首一别三生恨，

the sea is wide, the duckweed sinks—hard is the meeting again.

海阔萍沉聚首难。

Spring gone, flowers fallen, autumn also ended;

春去花落秋尽也,

I see through the brocade layers yet cannot bear to write.

看穿锦层不忍写。

I write of longing that has no end;

写下相思无尽处,

all day it stretches on without rest.

终日绵绵无消歇。

Nothing around me holds any interest;

身边万事无兴致,

in the evening I send away the slanting sun with empty sighs.

晚送斜阳徒自嗟。

Unawares the heart has grown gradually cold;

不觉心已渐渐冷,

I bring with me the sky’s reckless flying snow.

携来漫天滥飞雪。

One night of wounded soul, one night of snow;

一夜魂伤雪一夜,

a thousand and ten thousand flakes form the same heart’s knot.

千片万片同心结。

Through the long night it piles a foot thick;

通宵积得盈尺厚,

beneath the trees it is pure white, upon the trees it is clean.

树下涅白树上洁。

Now and then the seven spirits return alone

偶有七魄独归来,

and strike a fine dust from the jade terrace.

撞得微屑下玉台。

Lightly I brush the whole body clean;

轻掸通身全拂去,

the heart becomes as white as the open wilderness.

心和旷野一样白。

How many past events have the winds scattered?

少往事风散去,

Throughout history, how many of Cao Cao’s consorts were truly drawn to his talent—not his power?"

谁人留枕魏王才?

Rainfall XV: Longing

雨落之十五：《相思》

On the path I meet a fellow townsman; the meeting itself was not expected.

陌上逢桑梓，重逢本不期。

I ask for news of the old friend; after a pause he answers, “I do not know.”

问其故人讯，沉吟道不知。

With whom shall loneliness speak? Longing makes me foolish in vain.

寂寞共谁语?相思空己痴。

The past has already become smoke; I wring my hands and can do nothing.

往事已成烟，扼腕无所施。

Rainfall XVI: Thinking of Thee

雨落之十六：《思君》

Last night the east wind brought rain; this morning the waters return to the west.

昨夜东风雨，今朝水西归。

They feel my thought of the old friend; liver and gall are both crushed.

感我念故人，肝胆两俱摧。

Rainfall XVII The affairs of other lives

落之十七 往生事

the affairs of this life, have passed;

他生事过，

the splendour of former days has been blown away in rivalry.

往昔繁华、竞吹落。

Dark hair of the years is knotted into a thousand threads—who can untie them?

青丝岁月千丝结，谁能解?

On the old purple paths where the jade one stood, the high towers are locked, the mist is vast. 当年紫陌、玉人立处、重楼锁、烟漠漠。

Who through long years of longing still remembers?

多年相思谁相忆？

Thou shouldst forget—do not keep the memory.

君当忘去不当记。

Obsessive longing wears you down physically, and it harms both yourself and others—benefiting no one.

断肠处、总无益。

Rainfall XVIII: The Human World

雨落之十八：《人间》

Even if someone promised I could be reborn in a heaven of perpetual daylight—would it truly matter?

谁许流年不夜天?

I will be neither Buddha nor immortal.

不做佛来不做仙。

Having given this body to cultivate the bond of one life,

舍身修得一世缘，

I follow thee thus into the human world.

就此逐君到人间。

Rainfall XIX

雨落之十九

(Written in the third month of 2008)

（写于二零零八年三月）

Broken jade flies through the whole sky—how many pity its fineness?

碎玉漫天飞，几人怜子微?

It melts in the palm and becomes the tears of a fairy.

融于手心中，化作仙女泪。

How many thousand layers has the jade terrace? The stars hang, yet the night is not deep.

瑶台几万重，星悬夜不浓。

After dressing, the traces of weeping are wet—through a thousand years, Who keeps you company?

妆罢啼痕湿，千年有谁同?

In the successive dust of the human world, the jade face lies among the changes of ages.

历历红尘里，沧桑卧玉容。

Looking at the night stars sinking into the eyes, a nameless longing grows thick.

看夜星沉眼，无名相思浓。

What do I think of? Even I cannot know.

问我何所思? 我亦不能知。

Sorrow overflows through the whole body; in a daze the heart is already lost.

悲溢透体出，恍惚心已痴。

Three years and one more dream—when I begin to forget thee a little,

三年又一梦，将卿淡忘时。

the white-robed one enters the dream, and heaven and earth mourn together.

白衣入梦来，天地一齐哀。

Beside me is the land of rushes; upon the head is the purple-gold hairpin.

身侧蒲苇地，头上紫金钗。

Grief fills the space around; I wish to call, yet the mouth can not open.

哀怨盈身侧，欲唤口不开。

I see thee looking with feeling, yet the cheeks are dim and unseen.

察君含情视，朦胧不见腮。

Gradually thou enterest the mist—why can I not guess the reason?

渐入雾中去，缘何不能猜。

Wandering in the red dust, once I climbed the jade terrace.

红尘中徘徊，曾上碧玉台。

Who can know me? My literary talent truly rivals that of Cao Zhi .

谁人能知我? 堪比魏王才。

Facing the wind, the night is lonely—for whom does the fair face weep?

临风夜正孤，红颜为谁哭?

This time I take leave of thee; life and death are unknown numbers.

此番辞君去，生死未知数。

Treasure thyself; do not let the cold wind harm thee.

君且自珍重，莫使受寒风。

Once gone, it becomes an eternal parting; longing always turns to emptiness.

一去成绝别，相思总成空。

Vast, vast are heaven and earth—where is thy trace?

渺渺兮天地，何处是卿踪?

The body wishes to return, yet the spirit will not permit it; already scattered, from where shall it gather?

身欲归来魄不许，业已散去从何聚?

In the emerald-green ocean lies a place of soul reincarnation called Guixu. I shall journey there to begin my next life. Overflowing with the sorrows of countless souls across a millennium, yet what good does it serve?

轮回碧海头，枉贮千年愁。

ven after countless lifetimes of reincarnation, I cannot forget you. Your shadow still lingers in my dreams this lifetime.

百世洗不掉，卿影自缠留。

A whole life’s utmost effort may still not find thee; heaven high, earth far—in which direction is the person?

一生竭尽或难求，天高地远人哪头?

The heart longs to meet yet cannot meet; the jade one stands alone in the jade tower.

心欲相见不能见，玉人独立碧玉楼。

From the tower pearl tears are shed, turning into white snow that flows through the sky.

楼上洒下珍珠泪，化作白雪漫天流。

The white snow falls upon my body, adding layer upon layer of coolness to the loving heart.

白雪落在我身上，频添情心一片凉。

Eyes closed, all sounds around are still; the heart is clear, the spirit far, the soul flies high.

闭眼身边万籁静，心清神远魂飞扬。

The soul flies high, the soul flies high—life after life is but one dream.

魂飞扬兮魂飞扬，生生世世梦一场。

I wish only to lean against thee: thou my wife, I thy husband.

只愿和卿相依偎，你为妻来我为郎。

One breath of wind, and the body scatters; one longing, one cold.

风一吹来身即散，一场相思一场寒。

Better in the next life to be rain and dew—why taste all the bitterness of longing?

不如来生为雨露，何必尝尽相思苦。

When winter comes, the rain and dew become snow, pure as thy white robe.

雨露冬来化成雪，和卿白衣一样洁。

Scattered by the wind upon the nine heavens, they fall gently at thy side.

随风散于九天上，婉转落在卿身侧。

Her cherry-red lips blow gently, and the snow dances lightly; falling to earth, it returns to dust.

素口吹兮雪轻舞，坠于地兮归于土。

Upon attaining true wisdom and freedom, one realizes that all is illusion and there is no need for attachment.Forever free of the bitterness of longing.

和光同尘心安在? 永世不尝相思苦。

Rainfall XX

雨落之二十

Her jet-black hair cascaded like a waterfall from shoulders smooth and delicate as carved jade.For years, my desire to be in a relationship with her has remained unfulfilled.

青丝如水泄玉肩，云散巫山枉穷年。

Through the eyes of someone who longs only to share every moment with her, she—robed in white, ethereal as a vision—truly is the goddess from the Luo River, as if stepped from ancient verse.

静谧拈香花下客，白衣飘扬水上仙。

Rainfall XXI

雨落之二十一

Distance creates infinite beauty; when one draws near, will there be disappointment?

距离产生了无限的美好，走近之后会失望么?

That cannot be said. I can only offer what I hold best—my verses—unto thee.

那不好说。只能将我认为最好的东西，我的诗句，献诸于你。

Whether in my life or after my death,

罔论，我之生前，还是.我之死后。

they shall remain at thy side.

它们都将伴你左右。

They shall pass with thee every dawn, every dusk,

伴你度过每个黎明，每个黄昏。

every storm of wind and rain.

伴你度过每一场风雨。

In the course of time I am not the first thou hast loved, nor shall I be the last.

时光中，我不是你第一个爱上的人，也不会是最后一个。

Yet in the hundred years, remember who it was that loved thee.

而百年的时间里，请你记得谁又爱上了你?

Rainfall XXII

雨落之二十二

What is the meaning of this heart that breaks the bowels?

断肠心思意如何?

Dark resentment grows in clusters; a hundred matters multiply.

幽怨丛生百事多。

Meeting, parting, longing—already done;

相聚相离相思已，

looking back, year after year is empty wasted time.

回首年年空蹉跎。

Rainfall XXIII: Without Title

雨落之二十三：《无题》

Who can remove the thought that weighs upon the heart’s depth?

心底思量谁可除?

All day the flower-face is gazed upon and never enough.

尽日花颜看不足。

Splendour is like brocade, yet the heart falls into silence;

繁华如锦心寞落，

an inch of longing is an inch of poison.

一寸相思一寸毒。

Rainfall XXIV: Across the Ages

雨落之二十四：《隔世》

In the fifth five-hundred years after all things had begun and ended,

在一切开始又结束之后的第五个五百年

I passed before the stone image I myself had carved for thee,

我经过我亲手为你雕的石像前，

and for a moment lost my senses, forgetting language itself.

片刻失神，竟忘了语言。

In that soft night when the wind of the third moon blew,

在那三月的风吹袭的柔软的夜里，

all the stars fell upon the surface of the lake.

所有的星星都跌落湖面。

注：AI翻译的，实在看不下去的我又翻译成大白话让AI重新翻译了。